


I Choose You

by Dreaminofyou



Category: Euphoria (TV 2019)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-04
Updated: 2019-09-04
Packaged: 2020-10-06 17:55:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20511095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dreaminofyou/pseuds/Dreaminofyou
Summary: alternate ending to 1x08





	I Choose You

The sound of the train on the tracks had my heart beating out of my chest. The palms of my hands were sweating as Jules continued to pull me closer towards the tracks. I felt like I was a dog on a leash right now being pulled by their owner to somewhere they didn’t want to go. Why the _fuck_ did I suggest such a stupid idea? What was running away with Jules going to solve? That was me though. Always running away from my fucking problems without a care in the world of how anyone else would feel.

Gia’s face popped into my head and I couldn’t help but feel a wave of guilt knowing how worried she was going to be. She didn’t deserve to go through any of this. She was seriously such a good kid and has gone through so much shit because of me. Then there was my Mom. Even though we’ve had our differences in the past, especially after my Dad passed away, we’ve rekindled our relationship. I actually could talk to her openly about stuff. Stuff I never would have talked to her about before.

“Come on, Rue. The trains here,” she said tugging on my hand as the doors slid open. My feet were cemented to the floor and she looked back at me when I didn’t move an inch.

“Jules, I...I can’t just leave like this. Gia’s gonna be so worried and...and I can’t do this to my Mom,” I said shaking my head as tears threatened to fall from my eyes. My lower lip quivered as I watched the other passengers board the train and my hands started to shake as Jules continued to try and pull me towards her.

“Rue, they’ll be fine. Come on,” she said tugging on my hand a little harder. I continued to shake my head as I took a step towards the train. Jules stepped up into the train and turned around as my feet stayed planted on the floor. Her head tilted to the side as she stood looking down at me with knitted eyebrows.

“Rue, _please_. I love you,” she said bringing my hand up to her lips and placing a hard kiss to the back of my hand. Her grip on my hand loosened as they announced the doors would be closing soon. I stared up at her as tears fell from my eyes and silently told her that I wasn’t going. Her eyes were glossy as she stared down at me.

Me and my _stupid_ mouth. I had a tendency to blurt things out and at this moment I was paying the consequences for what I had suggested earlier. Who was I to think that I could just run away? I was a fucking addict. I had my Mom and sister who’ve done nothing but show their love and support for me and here I was about to abandon them without a word? In that moment, I chose to think of someone else besides myself. They were all I had in the world. I wasn’t about to put them through any more shit. They didn’t deserve it.

“Jules, I love you but I...I can’t go,” I said shakily, dropping her hand from my own. I could feel the cool air hit the sweaty palms of my hands and I quickly wiped them on the side of my pants. Tears streamed down my face as they announced again that the doors were closing. I watched as Jules looked back and forth between the inside of the train then back down towards me. Why would she pick me over a life in the city with the girl she loved? Anna could give her things I couldn’t. I had never seen Jules talk about anyone the way she talked about Anna. Her face lit up when she was talking about her, how could I compete with that?

I closed my eyes not wanting to see the doors close on the love of my life. Another person I loved more than anything was leaving me. The knife twisted a little further inside my heart as I felt the wind of the train pass by letting me know it had left the tracks. I sobbed out squeezing my eyes a little harder as I collapsed down to the floor. She left. She fucking _left_.

I gasped out as I felt two hands cup my cheeks. I barely had time to open my eyes to see who it was before I felt lips press against mine desperately. My eyes widened as Jules scent invaded my nostrils. I immediately brought my hands up to her face and pulled her closer to me as I sobbed into her mouth. She was here. She was really fucking here.

“You’re here,” I whimpered as she nodded her head against my forehead. She brought our lips back together tenderly and I kissed her back like I would never get the chance to do so again. She broke away from my lips and kissed my cheek gently before pulling me into her arms.

“I love you,” I mumbled into her neck as I wrapped my arms tightly around her waist. I could feel her nod her head in the crook of my neck before tightening her hug.

“I love you, too,” she said flatly. Her voice was rid of any type of emotion and a sinking feeling took over my body.

I pulled away from her and I could see her makeup smudged across her cheeks. She avoided my eyes as she stood up, holding out her hands for my own to take.

Silence filled the air as we stood in front of one another and I didn’t know what to think. Was she upset with me?

“Let’s go home,” she mumbled with her head down as she started walking towards the stairs. She adjusted the strap of her bag and held out her hand for me to take. A wave of guilt took over my body. I had given her this sense of hope of us running away together only to take it all back. I walked alongside her and she kept her distance from me. We were walking beside one another but we may as well have been a mile apart. She didn’t say a word to me the entire way back home and I could feel the knife turning inside my heart again.

I was a fucking coward and I sobbed out lightly as my house came into view. I quickly sped up, dropping her hand from my own and walked ahead of her towards my house. I wiped the tears from my eyes and before I knew it, my feet were jogging towards my front door.

“_Rue!_” I could hear her yelling out after me. I didn’t turn around at her calls and continued running towards my house. Before I could get my fucking key into the door, I felt her grab my shoulder and turn me around.

“What,” I yelled throwing my hands in the air as she stood in front of me. “I get it. You fucking _hate_ me right now. You should have stayed on the train, Jules. You should have gone to the city to be with Anna,” I said turning around and trying to get my key in the door once again. She pulled my hands away from the door and turned me around before pushing me against the door abruptly.

“Shut up,” she whispered against my lips before grabbing my face and pulling me into a searing kiss. I gasped into her mouth and squeezed my eyes shut because I was so confused. One minute she’s not saying a word to me then she’s kissing me. I pushed at her shoulders breaking our kiss and knitted my eyebrows.

“Don’t,” I said pointing my index finger up towards her, “this whole idea was just ridiculous, especially on my part. I mean what the _fuck_ was I thinking?” I asked throwing my hands in the air exasperated. “That I would go to the city with you and watch you with _her_? Do you know how hard that would be for me? To watch the girl that I am _completely_ in love with be around another girl she’s _also_ in love with? I know you told me that you’re in love with both of us but I can’t...I just can’t share you like that,” I stated shaking my head as I shrugged my shoulders.

“Rue,” she breathed out pulling me gently back towards her. She rested her forehead against mine and I exhaled gently. Her hands caressed my lower back and I couldn’t help but close my eyes at the warm touch.

“I choose you,” she whispered against my lips as she wrapped her arms around my waist. Drops of rain started to fall from the sky but neither one of us made any attempt to move from the position we were in.

“Why?” I asked incredulously. Jules was the most amazing, gentle, caring person I'd ever met. She deserved all the happiness in the world and in that moment, I wasn’t sure I was the person who could give her that.

“Can we talk inside?” Jules asked bringing her hands up to wipe away the droplets on my face. The rain was getting a bit harder and I nodded my head not wanting to get drenched. As I entered the house, I expected to hear my Mom or Gia watching TV but the house was pitch black.

“Mom? Gia?” I called out as I reached for the hall light switch. Silence. I shrugged my shoulders and assumed they had gone to eat or a movie. I walked into the kitchen and found a note laying by the coffee machine. I slid my fingers across the counter and read the note slowly. Turns out I was right, they had gone to a movie.

“What’s it say?” Jules asked raising her eyebrows.

“They went to the movies,” I said laying the note back down on the counter. An uncomfortable silence took over the room and I wrung my hands together nervously. Jules opened her mouth about to say something but I cut her off.

“Um, I'm just gonna go change,” I said motioning towards my room. This corset like shirt Jules had lent me was extremely uncomfortable and I wanted nothing more than to take it off and throw on a loose shirt.

My feet padded down the carpeted hallway as I made my way to my room. I threw my coat on my dresser and walked over to my closet grabbing the first shirt I could find. I reached behind my back and frowned when I couldn't figure out how the hell to untie this fucking shirt.

I glanced back at Jules and she was standing in my doorway just watching me intently.

“Uh, do you think you could help me untie this?” I asked turning my back towards her. My breath hitched as Jules walked up behind me and placed her hands on my waist. Her fingers slid up my lower back until she reached the first string. My throat felt dry as more and more of my back became exposed to her soft hands. Her warm breath was hitting my neck and my knees were starting to become weak.

I felt the last string being untied and the shirt started to fall from my torso leaving my upper body completely bare. Neither Jules or I made any attempt to catch the piece of clothing before it fell to the floor. I gasped lightly as Jules’s fingers danced across my lower back. Her hands wrapped around my waist as she laid her head in the crook of my neck.

“Jules,” I sighed out knowing we shouldn’t be doing this. We had so much to talk about but her touch was distracting me.

“I couldn’t leave you again, “she whispered as she laid the softest of kisses behind my ear. I leaned into her touch as her fingers traced invisible patterns on my naked stomach.

“I don’t want you to regret staying here because of me,” I uttered out placing my hands gently on top of hers stopping her from caressing my stomach. Her touch was distracting me.

“When I was standing on the train, I asked myself who I could live my life without,” she said cupping my cheeks. “I missed you so much the last time I left and I knew in that moment that you meant more to me than anyone else. Yeah, I'll admit the time I spent with Anna was great. She made me feel...alive and carefree. But she didn’t make me feel _anything_ like the way I do about you,” she said turning me gently around in her arms.

“I’ve never actually been in a relationship before. I’ve always just had random hookups or I would meet up with people to have sex with but with you...you make me want to have more than that,” she said tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

“You want to be with me for _me_. Not to fulfill some type of fantasy or keep me as your dirty little secret. You make me feel..._normal_. Like I’m no different from any other girl,” she said leaning down to peck my lips gently.

“I just wanted to get away with you and forget all the _shi_t that’s happened these past few weeks. I’m sorry for the way I acted before. I guess I got a little excited about the idea of going away with you,” she said and I couldn’t help but reach up and pull her into a kiss. I slid my arms around her neck and Jules pulled me flush against her body.

“Can I stay over tonight?” she whispered, pulling away from my lips. I licked my lips and could only nod before reaching behind her neck and pulling her back against my lips. I walked us backwards towards the bed and the second I felt my legs hit the mattress I fell backwards pulling her with me.

Jules wrapped one of her arms around my waist and hoisted me up to the top of the bed. My head landed on the pillows and my hair fell to the side completely exposing my upper half to her. Jules stared down at my breasts and I suddenly became self-conscious. No one had ever seen me like this.

I brought my hands up to cover my breasts but she shook her head, “No, please don’t hide,’ she said reaching out for my hands gently.

Jules straddled my waist and I could only watch as she slipped off her thin green jacket. More and more of her beautiful skin came into view and I gulped as she crossed her arms in front of her torso. She slowly brought her purple top over her head and the moment her breasts came into view, my breath hitched. I had seen Jules’ breasts before but never like this. My hands instinctively reached up and caressed her breasts in my hands. _Fuck,_ I had never felt anything so soft.

Jules’ sighed out softly and I couldn’t help but squeeze her breasts softly in my hands. She was literally perfect and I gently ran the pads of my thumbs across her erect nipples. I squeezed my legs together and could tell I was more than turned on. Jules leaned down on top of me and tucked her head into the side of my neck. She started to lay open mouth kisses to my neck and I turned my head immediately to the side to give her better access. I squirmed lightly at the new sensation and sighed out in pleasure as her tongue traced an invisible path up my neck towards my ear.

My whole body shivered as I felt her hot breath in my ear. Her hands roamed my lower stomach until she slowly started to move them upwards. I breathed out heavily as she cupped my breasts in her hands and closed my eyes in pleasure. How is it that someone else’s touch could bring you so much pleasure? I touched myself plenty of times, especially thinking about Jules but it never felt this _good_.

‘You okay?” she asked and I quickly nodded my head. I was more than okay.

“No one’s ever touched me like this,” I breathed out as she nipped gently at my ear.

“Do you want me to stop?” she asked pulling her lips away from my ear and I immediately shook my head and pulled her back down.

“No, please,” I said desperately. Jules smiled down at me before capturing my lips with hers. Her warm tongue glided across my lower lip and I could only open my mouth against hers. Her tongue slid into my mouth and I felt my body pulsate at the warm sensation. Being kissed like this was turning me on way too much and with Jules’ hands on my breasts, I didn’t know how much longer I was going to last. Our kisses grew more passionate by the second and I gasped when she pulled away.

I frowned and opened my eyes to see her lowering her head towards my chest. The moment she took my breast into her mouth, I sighed out and squeezed my legs together tightly.

_No, please no._

Her mouth hadn’t been on my breast for more than five seconds before I felt my body go completely rigid. My pulse rate shot up and my body spasmed as my orgasm ripped through my body. Jules pulled her head away from my breasts but I didn’t have the strength to open my eyes. I smiled lightly at the state of euphoria my body was in.

No drug on this planet had ever made me feel the way I felt right now. I felt completely and utterly satisfied to the point where I felt like I could drift off to sleep at any second.

A few moments passed and I felt like my body was coming down from the waves of pleasure. I opened my eyes lazily and found Jules smiling down at me as she slid gently off my body. She laid her head gently down onto my other pillow and cuddled into my side. Her left hand rested on my bare stomach and I watched as it rose up and down with my rapid breathing.

“I should feel embarrassed right now, but I honestly don’t give a fuck. That felt _amazing_,” I said laughing lightly with heavy lids.

“Rue,” Jules laughed out gently, “if this is how you react to me barely touching you, how are you going to handle when I go down on you?” she asked running her index finger along the waistband of my pants.

“You trying to send me to the hospital again?” I asked kiddingly as I grabbed her hand and brought it up to my lips. I pressed a soft kiss to the back of her hand and turned my body so it was facing hers. My hand reached up and caressed the side of her face.

“I love you so much,” I said leaning forward and kissing her softly on the lips. I pulled back slowly and closed my eyes as I pulled her gently against me. My arm rested lazily around her back and I could hear Jules laughing lightly.

“Rue, are you seriously about to fall asleep?” she asked rubbing her nose softly against mine.

“I can’t keep my eyes open. It’s your fault,” I mumbled out as she shook my waist lightly. I could feel myself drifting off to sleep and there was nothing I could do about it.

“Are you gonna fall asleep after every orgasm I give you?” she asked and I chuckled against her lips.

“Shut up, that was seriously the best orgasm I've ever had. Let me enjoy it,” I mumbled out as she placed soft kisses to the left side of my cheek.

“Oh, _honey_,” she said trailing her hand down my stomach. She gently pulled at the waistband of my pants and slipped her hand gently inside. My body shook lightly as she rubbed her fingers over my drenched underwear. My eyes rolled back in my head and I sighed out heavily.

“You have _no_ idea,” she whispered against my lips. She trailed open mouth kisses along my chest until she reached just below my bellybutton. I sat up gently on my elbows and watched her intently as she trailed kiss after kiss along the waistband of my pants. She grinned up at me before tugging my pants along with my underwear down my legs.

* * *

I'll post the second part if I get enough requests/comments to do so. ;)


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